Prologue :
Speaking, Voices, no one realizes how special they are until you don't have them. I should know. I mean no one believes that speaking is a gift, being able to tell your crush you like them, to be able to stutter, for god's sakes! Without a voice most people believe your opinion less, a freak. Well, that's what I am you see. A freak. I Cora Markings am a freak. A mute.
When you think of horrible things that can happen to people you never think Mute. You think Cancer, Amputation, Car crash, never mute. But, I'm hoping to change your mind about that. Mute is worst of all.
Boy meets girl, they fall in love and have babies. I've never heard of a Mute girl meets boy, have you? No one can fall in love with a mute. You never know what they sound like, never know their accent, their laugh. You just see notes that they write or using sign language.
I never thought that this could happen. But after the accident that claimed my father's life, I was ruined. A piece of glass angled just right across my throat stole my voice. Sure, the doctors sewed it right back up but, they shook their heads sadly at the thought of me being able to speak again so I never try.
Being a 12 year-old who could no longer speak and was fatherless is devastating. Besides, my friends didn't think it was 'cool'. Apparently it was weird. After 5 years though, you cope. Do I miss talking? Well, that's like asking a wheel-chair bound person if they miss walking. The worst part is that I'm forgetting what I sound like. The only thing I can say is .. Life Sucks, we just deal with it.
I lost focus as my seventh period teacher Mr. Valez, droned on about some war. My mind drifted away quietly and I kept my steady gaze out the window. The things my mother said this morning came back to me and filled my head. I had just swished through the kitchen, grabbing an apple when my mother's voice stopped me.
"Cora?" My mother's tone was distraught. Kaylah and Luke ducked into the kitchen behind me, stopping as well. Mom took a breath. "We're moving you guys!" She used a false cheeriness that I could sense immediately. The twins groaned in protest but, mom put her hands up to silence them. "Now, now. We haven't moved in ages, time for a change sweethearts." Her blond hair was in a sloppy pony-tail and her blue eyes were clear. "We'll start packing tonight. We're moving to Creekstone, Georgia. Now smile! And lets get to school, eh?" She shooed us out and blew kisses as I jumped into the drivers seat.
I snapped back to attention as the bell sounded, freeing us all. My pale hands flew across the desk, gathering all my materials. I guess in a normal teen movie I would be hugging my friends and crying, telling them how much I would miss them. A bitter smile pulled the edges of my lips up. Well, without friends, I would have no one to miss. I moved swiftly through the classroom's door, manuvering through the crowd easily.
I took in the gray walls in the hall, finding comfort in all their peeled glory. I slipped through the large front doors, in a hurry towards the parking lot. My gaze was down when I slammed into a large form. I looked up into Micheal Dawson's arrogant face, and stumbled backwards. His clique wasn't far behind. "Hey guys," He called, dull eyes flashing. "Look what we've got." A few jocks and cheerleaders sauntered over with over-played confidence. Micheal shoved me back a little. "What's wrong Freak? Got something to say?" A snicker resounded the group at the backhanded comment.
I grimaced and put my head down trying to shuffle around him. He blocked me. "Come on, cat got your tongue?" His words were honey coated and sultry sweet. "Oh that's right. You No Speaky." His tone was now as if he were speaking to a mentally impaired person. Micheal's whole group laughed and he turned to receive high fives. I slipped around them and hopped into my car, waiting for the twins. I ran a hand through my hair. God, I'm happy that I at least get away from them. Though at my new school, they might be worse. Especially to a new girl. My thoughts tumbled over each other as Kaylah jumped in, followed by Luke.
"Hey sis." They said, in sync. I threw a smile over my shoulder, speeding away from the grounds. They kept up a conversation in the back, like usual. Sometimes, I wish I could talk to them. Sometimes I wish I could help them with their problems or explain homework to them. I mused on these ideas, when we pulled up to the house. I was forced to park next to a large U-Haul. I wonder if mom packed up EVERYTHING? Nah, she might be fast but, not that fast. My thoughts were wrong because as I entered the house, I realized it was nearly empty.
"Come on my chicklings," Mom pointed to the table. "Lets eat before we head out." Kaylah skipped to the table, green eyes bright, dark hair swinging. Luke walked to the table, his green eyes were sad and his nearly black hair was slightly spiked. We ate silently as usual until a question popped into my head. I pulled out my compact dry-erase board and scribbled across it, 'Did you pack my room?' Mom looked up and swallowed before speaking. "Yep, every single thing! Everyone's rooms are packed. As soon as we're finished we're just jumping in our cars and heading out." I gave her a genuine smile and erased my message with my sleeve, before scribbling across it again. 'Thanks mom, love you.' She gave me a sad smile before finishing her food.
I finished not too long after that with Kaylah and Luke finishing just as fast. I took Kaylah in my car and Mom took Luke. I followed her blue toyata through the traffic rushes and Kaylah fiddled with the radio. She sang with nearly every song, her voice dropping and rising in tune with the singers. I grinned a little, trying to hold in my jealousy. I flicked on my signal and threw a glance in the rearview, my silvery blue eyes were wary. My dark hair tumbled over my shoulders like a midnight waterfall.
I followed mom for what seemed like days though it was merely 6 hours. By the time we pulled into our new driveway it was 10:00. The house was a nice size, modest. The outside was light red, two stories. I tried to hold my excitement but, failed. The U-haul guys carried in our boxes without question. I stalked in behind them. The first thing I saw was a large foyer with a kitchen to the left. There was a tilted hallway to the right, my feet steered me towards it. The walls were an off-white and I ran my fingers over them.
There was a deep green door to my left which I opened. The walls were a dark green and a large window was set on the far wall. A walk in closet was in my peripheral. Someone shoved by me. "Mine!" Luke shouted, before pushing my back slightly. Love you too, bro. I thought sarcastically as a door slammed in my face. I continued down the narrow hall when I spotted a door on my right. It was a light, aquatic blue. Curiosity took over and I pushed the door open. This room was wide with a walls a deep shade of blue, a closet was near the east wall. I took one step onto the beige carpet when I was shoved out of the way. "Mine!" Kaylah shouted, giving me an evil smile. I stepped back and a door slammed in my face.
What kind siblings. I approached a set of beautiful spiral stairs and ascended them. I set my eyes on a loft type place that over looked the large living room. I gave it a quick glance before turning a corner, spotting another door. I neared it, this one was a powdery gray. I pushed the door open and gasped. The walls in to my right and left were white and the ones in front of me and behind me were black. I mean, the black and white them was perfect!
I already knew my bed would go on the wall to the right of me since my closet was on the left, right next to an en-suite bathroom. The best part? A balcony! It was on the wall directly opposite of the place I was standing. I strutted across the white tile floor and pushed the glass doors open. It was about 5 feet wide and 4 feet out. I put my hands on the white bars that were in front of me. The darkness outside was calming. The night breeze blew across our wide backyard that connected to a forest. The wind ruffled my hair and I inhaled the scent of the peaceful calm.
I heard the shuffling of items and turned to see a U-haul guy putting my boxes on the floor. His dark skin was slick with sweat, his eyebrows scrunched together and he gave me a kind smile. I unhooked my dry erase bored from around my neck and scrawled a message across it. Thank you, very much. He looked confused before he shrugged and walked away. I sat outside on the concrete floor of my balcony. The wind tossed my hair around while I thought.
Another thing that sucked about being a mute. People didn't understand. Sometimes it feels like I'm trapped inside my own body, unable to speak. To express myself. Well, without drawing I would surely go insane. I stood and scuffled near the boxes, digging for my sketchpad and pencils. My hand felt around blindly until I touched the familiar objects.
I went back on the balcony and sat down, taking in my surroundings. The dark night tossed shadows through the far forest. That's what I drew, my view. My hands worked over the paper easily, lines overlapping lines. I breathed in the scent of my new home while my hands worked endlessly. My eyelids drooped and my drawing became blurry. I tried to fight it, but to no avail. My hand started slowling, before stopping completely. My eyes drooped once more time before shutting out the world.
I shivered slightly and opened my eyes. Whoa! I shut them just as fast against the bright sunlight. I opened them again slowly and observed my surroundings, confused. I sat up and my memory flooded back. I laughed at my stupidity then became abruptly depressed when no sound came out. I sighed and stood up, thanking whoever put a pillow under my head and a blanket over me. The view from the balcony was just as beautiful in the daytime.
I stretched and shuffled back into my empty room. My mom passed by my door and grunted, "No school, fix house, school tomorrow." I nodded. I didn't dare get in her way before her morning coffee. I let out a large breath and eyed the tons of boxes that cluttered my room warily, fun fun.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow, 4 hours later and my room looks perfect! All my sketches are up, my laptop is sitting on a desk in the back-right corner and my clothes are all hung up. All my toiletries were in the black, white, and red themed bathroom. I smiled at my work and plopped down on my bed, suddenly bored. I took out my sketch-pad but had no ambition. Might as well check out this new town, I thought.
I stood up and snatch my white bored and slipped my cell phone in my back pocket. I stepped into the bathroom, eying my reflection. My silvery blue eyes stared back apprehensively, midnight hair fell over my shoulders in silent beauty. I was wearing a cloudy gray singlet that hugged me right and some tight black jeans. I eyed the faintly pink line that cut across my throat. I left the bathroom throwing on my checkered converse. After descending the stairs, I scribbled across my message on the white board, dropping it on the kitchen table for my mom to see. Can I go look around town? She looked back up at me with earnest blue eyes, that were tinged with sadness and nodded. I was forced to look away.
I hated the fact that she was sad because of me, my own mother. I guess each time she had to read a note or was in some way reminded of my mute-ness, she thought of dad. I feel like a failure, I upset my mother every time she looked a me. I gave her a small smile and fled the house, eager. After about 10 minutes of random walking, I found a cute little park. It was empty I mean, who would be at a park this late? The sun was nearly setting and wind blew across the playground. I ambled towards the small swings, sitting on one with a sigh.
I shut my eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the sun on my skin, the breeze in my hair. At times like these, I feel normal. Without anyone around.. I feel like how I used too. My hand flew to my throat out of habit. I traced across the line I had wished, prayed and hoped away. Though, without looking, I knew it was there. Inconspicuous, seemingly nothing dangerous or bad. Just a scar. A scar that ruined my life. That ripped my legs out from under me and watched me flail. I dropped my hand in disgust and pushed the swing pack slightly, shutting my eyes again.
I was torn from my thoughts as the swing next to me squeaked. My eyes opened warily, I turned my head. A beautiful boy no, man was perched on the swing next to me, hazel eyes watching. He had medium build and a lean body with long legs. His dark hair was cropped short and spiked a little. A kind smile was at home on his full lips.
"Hey," I longed more than anything, to be able to respond. Instead I gave him a slight wave and a kind smile. Apparently that was enough for him because his deep voice spoke again. "I'm Leo." Leo looked at me, waiting for a response. I ignored him, trying not be rude. I couldn't get caught up in the flow of a handsome guy. "Or not." He said. Looking down, kicking some sand around. The sun was low in the sky, nearly down. It cast orange across the play-set and the trees. I smiled at it's simple beauty. "Pretty isn't it?" Leo asked, trying to start a conversation. I looked at him with a quizzical expression, before nodding.
By his appearance you would figure him to be a jock-jerk type. The arrogant expression, the brand-name clothes. I countinued to sit next to Leo and swing in the silence that usually surrounded me. The sun was now down and there was a soft blanket of darkness covering the ground. "Are you gonna tell me your name?" Leo asked, pleadingly. I turned to him, standing with a sly smile on my lips. I put one finger up to my lips in the 'shhh' sign. I patted his dark-haired head like a dog and began my walk back home.
I reached the house around 7:30, perfect timing. Mom had just set dinner down. We all ate together, like a family.. a normal one. Even though beneath the surface we were truly different. Kaylah and Mom supplied most of the conversation, chatting excitedly. I retired to my room after cleaning the dishes and doing a load of laundry. I was feet from my door when a hand caught my shoulder. I spun around, startled. Luke stood there, his green eyes on the floor. "Smile more, sis. It makes you prettier." Awh Luke! I threw my arms around him in a hug, I never expected this from my 14 year old brother. He never showed affection much after dad died, neither did I though.
He froze before melting into my hug, I smiled and pulled away. I put a finger up in a 'one second' gesture. Luke stuffed his hands in his pockets and stood there, so I guessed he would be waiting. I skipped to my room and snatched my erase board off the wall, scrawling 'Thanks so much bro. I love you :D'' as I walked back to where he was standing. I shoved it in his face and his usually turned down lips, pulled up at the corners, forming a shy smile. "Anytime," He chimed, before turning to walk down the hall towards the stairs, whistling as he went.
I smiled and continued down the hall to my bed, dropping down on it. The blackness washed over me quickly and I drifted into the one place I could speak, my dreams.
"Come on my lovelies! Time for school!'' A voice sang, my eyes fluttered open. Mom skipped down the hall, fully dressed. A sleepy smile took hold of my lips as I sat up, rubbing my tangle of dark hair. "Mom! Slow down!" Kaylah cried, bronze curls bouncing has she flew past my open door. I gave a short, silent laugh before stretching and getting ready. I hobbled over to my closet, musing on what to wear.
After a good 10 minutes I chose some tight blue jeans that were distressed in the knee and a black V-neck. I shrugged them on and trudged into my large bathroom, puling a brush through my hair then brushing my teeth and smudging on some eyeliner. I hiked my backpack over my shoulder and descended the stairs, slowly. I wasn't excited, per say. Not excited to be laughed at and ridiculed and mocked. Who would? I snatched an apple off the counter and ate while I watched my siblings bustle around the house in frenzy.
I finished and tossed the core in the trash, grabbing my keys off the counter. I jingled them impatiently while the twins came bounding down the stairs. Mom kissed each of our cheeks and saw us off, a smile always on her face. She acts as though I couldn't, can't, hear her cry at night sometimes. How she falls apart silently and tries to be strong for us. She puts up this front like nothing can faze her, it's horrifying sometimes, the way she's ... distant.
"Err, Cora?" Luke said quietly, as if to not disturb me. I turned my head to the side, eying him. "We're here?" He said it like a question. Kaylah was bouncing up and down in her seat, barely holding onto her excitement. I spared her a smile. Though she struck most as a popular girl, she always went for the shy kids. Pulling them out and making them shine was her thing. I nodded briskly and stepped out of my black mazda, patting it's side affectionately.
The walk to the office was humiliating, everyone's eyes on us, the whispers of their breath passing us by. I kept my eyes focused on the ground as Luke did, Kaylah strutted like she owned the school already. I admired her courage and self-esteem. Luke shoved the large metal door open and we stepped in, the cold air whooshed past us.
I approached the desk and opened my backpack digging for my dry-erase. Kaylah put a hand out to stop me, I looked at her in a confused manner. "Hello, we're the new kids. Kaylah Markings," She pointed to herself. "Luke Markings." She gestured to Luke. "And Cora Markings." She pointed to me now. Wow, you'd think she'd be older than me with the aura of self-assurance she gave off. I felt small next to her.
The lady behind the desk shuffled around a few papers before handing us folders, in the order Kaylah introduced us. As she handed me mine, sympathy flashed through her eyes. Ugh, I'll be getting this all day. Doesn't anybody get that Sympathy doesn't make it better? Doesn't fix it?
"Kay, me and Luke are gonna go. Love you sis." Kaylah bounced forward and kissed my cheek before grabbing Luke's arm and fleeing the small office. Thanks guys, I thought sarcastically. Oh, come on Cora! Your a Junior and your mad because your Sophomore siblings left you? New low. I scoffed at my own mind before shutting the voice down. I peeked in the folder and checked over my Schedule.
1st Period: A.P. Science
2nd: American History
3rd: Gym
4th: Photography
5th: A.P. English
6th: A.P. Pre-Calculus
7th: Art
I smiled as I read Gym, I love it. I think I might actually like it he- SMACK What the freak? My butt hit the ground with a thud. I looked up, frightened. Please don't tell me they were gonna hit me. "Owww." I looked up to see... Lee? Luke? LEO ! Leo rubbing his head in pain. If I could , I would apologize. Instead I picked myself up and brushed off my jeans. "Mystery Girl?" Leo's voice spoke out again. I tilted my head to the side and looked into his deep hazel eyes. Mystery girl? His expression softened for a second before hardening. "Watch where your going." He shoved my shoulder and he brushed by. Bi-polar much? Jerk-face!
I looked down at my schedule after walking into a random hallway. The walls were a sickly, pristine white. I shuddered and stared down at my map, trying to decipher a route to 1st period. Hmm, I wonder i-BAM! Again? Really? What the hell is up with this school? I bent my head up and met a girl my age, rubbing her shoulder. She had long dark hair than had bangs to the side, her aquamarine eyes were huge and apologetic.
"OhMyGawd! I'm sooo sorry. Wow, you're really pretty. I'm Melanie." My brain took a second to process all her words as the nearly melded together. I stared at her held out hand until she dropped it down, awkward. I picked myself up again hastily. Melanie peered over my shoulder at my schedule, smiling brightly. "Come on! I have you in my first period!" She took hold of my hand and pulled me along down the narrow corridors, chatting about something.
She let go of my hand to pull open a large wooden door, before stepping in. I followed her with my head ducked down. The teacher stopped mid-sentence. "Look who I found roaming the hall!" Melanie bubbled, gesturing to me. The middle-aged man spared me a kind smile. I looked around the room, my eyes landing on Leo. He was sitting at his desk, seemingly innocent. He gawked at me and I smirked in return.
The blond girl to the right of him glared daggers at me, which I brushed off easily. "You must be Cora. I'm Mr. Markey" The man said, snapping me to attention. I gave a short nod. "Introduce yourself to the class." Was he seriously stupid? I gave him a look that said 'your joking.' "Go on." Mr. Markey urged, still being kind. Whatever. I dug inside my bag, completely aware of Leo's unnerving gaze. Where's my board? My hands moved frantically inside my already-cluttered backpack. "Never mind then." Mr. Markey said brusquely.
I zipped my backpack shut as the teacher spoke again. "Sit where you like.'' I nodded at him agained and ignored Leo's gaze more than ever. The blonde bimbo at his side was still glaring. Man, did she ever blink? Melanie snatched my hand and yanked me to the back of the room, sitting me in the window seat to the left of her. A boy in front of her turned and gave me a seductive smile, earning a thwack from Mel. He was taller than me, with skater cut black hair. He had blue-green eyes that held depth. He rubbed his arm and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Mel, muttering something. Her cheeks reddened and she 'hmphed.'
Throughout first period I was forced to listen to Leo's bimbo. She would giggle at everything he said and shoot me a glare. I focused on Mr. Markey who was discussing something scientific. I heard a short giggle and turned to glare at the blonde, who didn't seem to notice me. Leo was leaning over to talk in her ear, he spoke again. She threw her head back and gave a burst of exuberant laughter. I felt a stab of jealousy and counted down the minutes until I could leave this horrible torture chamber.
The bell rang and I sped from the room, before remembering just how bad my sense of direction was. I was going in endless circles until someone grabbed my arm. It was Melanie. Her black hair was windblown, blue eyes wide. "Want me to help you, Cora?" She smirked at my surprise, until I realized Mr. Markey had said my name. I looked at the presence behind her, eyebrows shooting up. The boy from earlier stood beside her, a smirk on his lips. "Hi, it's Eli." I nodded at him. "You should see your face." He remarked, laughing easily. I smiled a little and gestured to the hallway.
Melanie grabbed my hand and yanked me along. "You know Cora, I can already tell your different. In a good way. We here," She gestured to her and Eli. "Are the loners of the school." I wasn't surprised. The way people stayed away from us like the plague. "Soo, what's up?" She waited expectantly. "Err, Cora? You in there?" I nodded at her and grimaced. Un-zipping my backpack, fishing around for my board. BINGO ! My fingers enclosed around it's narrow edge, pulling it out. Melanie and Eli gave me confused expressions.
I un-capped the marker and scribbled across it. I'm Mute. Though those two words didn't seem important when they were apart, pushed together made all the difference. Made someone's whole world fall apart before they would want to speak. Not that they could. I inhaled a deep breath and spun the board around.
Melanie's hand pulled up over her mouth and Eli just stared. After an awkward minute I looked down. "We'll protect you." They said at the same time, before bursting into a laughing fit. I heaved in silent laughter, they noticed and stopped. Melanie pulled me into a hug, muttering "I'm sorry." I was awed at the affection. For a girl she just met? How sweet. She stepped back and I shrugged in a 'What can you do?' Kinda way. "Well, Cora. We're your new best friends. Count on us!'' Eli said, before raising his hand in a high five. I smacked his hand and smiled slyly.
Mel grabbed both our hands, earning a blush from Eli in the process, and took off down the hall. I was dumbfounded. They accepted me so easily? How? Why? So many questions swirled around. They swirled around my head in an uncomfortable way, making me doubt their intentions. But, as a risked a glance at Eli and Melanie giggling over nothing, I knew.
It was worth it, for this friendship. It was worth everything I was set against. Maybe, I could have some people that would love me? Just maybe, they could heal me.
Melanie hauled me and Eli into lunch, sitting us down at a table in the back. "Stay." She commanded and went in line. I looked around the large cafeteria, spotting Leo's dark head in seconds. He was staring at me openly. I stared back, before getting embarrassed. I dropped my gaze for a few moments. My cheeks hot, I spared him another glance, he was smirking. Jerk. "Hey, Cora?" My attention shifted to Eli. I pulled my legs up on the bench beside me and hugged them to my chest and tilted my head to the side.
Eli paused. "Why didn't you learn sign language?" Ahh, I see. I pulled the white board from my backpack and hid it under the table while I wrote on it. I held it up for only him to see. Reasons. "So mysterious," He commented, looking back up. I smiled innocently. Sure, they were my friends now, but that didn't mean I was handing over my every secret. Sign language was useless. Mom would be too upset to every actually try to learn and I wasn't going to weird out Luke and Kaylah.
I also didn't ever want to lose the very slim chance I had of speaking. I always wanted to hold onto that sliver of light in this dark tunnel. Melanie returned then and I was grateful.
**********************
The day sped by quickly and soon enough I was sitting in art. I eyed the board and waited as students trickled into the room. Leo came strolling in, accompanied by his buddies and blonde bimbo. She glared at me and I gave her an amused look, it seemed to anger her more. She ran her manicured nail down Leo's chest and muttered something in his ear. He nodded and gave her a player smile. I mentally scoffed as Leo headed towards my table, gaze never faltering.
I shifted in an uncomfortable way and watched as he sat, directly across from me. "Mystery girl." Leo breathed, eyes searching my face. I tipped an invisible hat and tapped my foot, impatient for the teacher. "She's always late. Now you get to spend time with me." I turned to him with a mixture of surprise and distaste. "What's your name, Angel?" He wore a cocky smile that I wanted to slap off. Better yet, why not quash this romantic atmosphere?
I lifted my board from my open backpack and he looked at it, curious. Not for long, loverboy. I'm Mute, sweetheart. I spun it around and watched with satisfaction as his expression blanked. I felt a pang in my chest and immediately expelled it. His face turned into something else, understanding, pity, then hilarity. "You called me sweetheart." He chimed. When he noticed I wasn't smiling he sighed. "Look, that doesn't matter. I mean, I don't care. You seem... different. It's nice. Refreshing even." My eyes widened and I shut them, before re-opening them. Yep, Leo was still there. How was I going to get him to go away now? "What? Did you expect me to be all mean and nasty about it? That's cruel." He teased with a dazzling smile.
My focus shifted to blondie who sat a few rows back, giving me a serious death glare. I rolled my eyes at her and Leo spoke. "Don't worry about her." I looked at him, apprehensive. Who is she? His Hazel eyes flitted down to my board then back at my face. "Chelsea Young. Head cheerleader. Wanna-be girlfriend." I gave him a puzzled look, as if to ask him for an explanation. "We had a thing but, it ended a few months ago. She won't get the hint. I'm single now." He winked. I scrubbed out my words and changed them. Maybe it's because you flirted up a storm in first period? His cheeks reddened and I gave a silent laugh. "Well, I-I ...Whatever." He dismissed with a wave of his hand. I rolled my eyes at him now. "Oh, and sorry for being a jerk this morning. It was stuff." I watched as he grasped for the words. He must not have apologized often.
We talked the rest of art period well, I wrote. In fact, we talked the rest of the week, learning about each other. Eli and Melanie didn't hide their surprise but, they were okay with it. I learned that Leopald James Kinderson is head of the football team, loves green, hates peas, and a few more random facts. He was almost as mysterious as me. He seemed fine with the fact I couldn't speak, which pleased me more than it should. Now here I sit, in 7th period on Friday, silently giggling as he tries to draw. I watched as the stick figures grew grotesque and misshapen. I was drawing today's assignment, People.
"Lemme see yours." Leo commanded, snatching my paper. I silent 'No' formed at my lips. His Hazel eyes widened and his hard jaw went slack. "This is amazing, Cora." He complimented, I looked down. He pushed my paper over to my side and I analyze it. I see a hurt girl, her blond hair is flipped in front of the only eye we see. The depth in her eyes nearly tells a story, her flawless skin is unblemished. You can see a light reflecting from her pupil. I looked back up at Leo, he's analyzing me like I was the picture.
His dark hair is slightly ruffled and his lips are parted a bit. His hazel eyes are changing emotions so fast it's hard to read them. I stared back at him, just stare. Leo looked down, "Help me?" His voice holds a laugh and I give him a smile. I walk around the table and lean down next to him, inhaling his scent. Axe, Woodsy, and Home. It's delicious, nearly making me melt on the spot.
I take hold of his hand and pull back when tingles explode in my stomach. He looks up at me confused. I can see the shifting colors in his deep green-ish eyes, so close. SNAP OUT OF IT CORA! My mind shouts and I step back, taking a deep breath. Everything about him screams player. But, he's different.- A smaller voice convinces. He accepted you and didn't think you were weird at all. -It continues. I shake my head slightly and step back towards him, encircling his hand in mine.
I brush it across the paper, creating the outline of a face. He's staring at me and I try to focus on the drawing. Try to lose myself in it. It's not working! I notice as his stare pin-pricks tingled on my neck and made my cheeks flush. I throw his hand across the paper faster than before, sketching fast. He finally dropped his gaze to the paper and gave a small sound of surprise. The picture was just beginning to come to life when I dropped his hand and returned to my seat, swooping up my backpack. The bell rings out.
"Hey, Can I walk you out?" I raise my eyebrow at his question, but let him anyway. Leo says a few things here and there and I smiled at an off-handed comment he made as his 'group' approaches. We're near the parking lot now and I try to hold up my courage to not run away. "Hey, guys," Leo greeted them. "You know Cora." He gestured to me, I gave a half-wave and looked down. "Yeah, we do," Chelsea sneered. "How ya doin' Mutey? Told any good jokes?" I recoil from her nasty attitude. What's with her? "Oh I heard a good one. Wanna know the punchline?" Chelsea flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder, leaning close to me. "It's you." She whispered, words dripping in venom. I flinched back.
What the hell? Her little group laughs. I step away from her, exhaling. "Hey. Leave her be, guys." Leo said, serious. "Are you protecting the Misfit Kinderson?" One of the jocks asked. "Yeah. What are you doing running around with that freak?" Another shouted. A chorus of agreement came from the group. "Well, Who's it gonna be Leo? Us, or the Freak?" Chelsea demanded, stomping her foot. Leo gave me a withering look before switching sides. He now stood next top Chelsea. "Go on, Freak. Scat!" Chelsea ordered with the flick of her wrist.
Leo flinched before making his face an emotionless mask. The guy I thought I was getting to know disappeared. I reminisced on our times this week as I pulled into my driveway, alone. Mom was away for the weekend and twins went to friend's houses. I remember how he seemed so kind to me, like he cared. I stomped around the house, pulling my hair. God, how did a guy I barely know get to me so much. I've been betrayed before. No biggie. I stopped stomping and went to the living room, dropping onto the couch.
My eyes drooped and I let them. Hoping for dreams. Hoping for the one place I could be okay. They shut all the way and I felt myself slip away.
"Cora, I'm so sorry. I was an idiot. I'm undoubtedly in love with you and I would toss my friends away anytime." I swooned and stepped closer. "I love you." My voice sounded scratchy and broken, like a man's. Immediate revulsion took over his face. "Look, she believed me." Leo sneered. Chelsea came up behind him and wrap an arm around his waist and kissed him. "Good boy." She whispered and grabbed his face, turning it to me. "Now ruin her." She said softly, filled with evil. His hazel eyes met mine. "I hate you." My world cracked and I was spinning at a downward spiral.
I jolted awake and looked around, confused. I sighed as I tried to shake the nightmare. That's what happened though, wasn't it? I mused as I ran my finger through the dark nest of hair on my head. I was betrayed. Just less melodramatic. How could I have thought a popular guy like him would want to be friends with me?
I mean, I'd only known the guy for what? A week. 'But he opened up to you.' My small voice corrected. 'You know he's funny and sweet and a bit of a jerk.' Whatever. I commended, closing out the voice.
*DING DONG*
The door? Oh, no duh. I shook my head at my own stupidity and shuffled towards it, barely stifling a yawn. I unlatched the door and pulled it open, my jaw dropped. Leo stood there in a black tee and dark washed jeans, holding a bouquet of flowers. I leaned against the door-frame, stuffing down my surprise.
"Can I come in?"
I raised an eyebrow and scowled.
"So that's a no?" He joked, hazel eyes bright.
"Come on Cora." I fought at the butterflies dancing in my stomach when he said my name.
"You know how it is." He looked at me pleadingly.
I gave him the '1 sec' sign and flew through the kitchen, snatching up my board off the counter. No, Leo I don't know how it is. How is it?
He snorted as I returned to the door, shoving the board in his face.
"What if I said sorry?" I shook my head. I was still dumbfounded that one of the star players on the football team is standing in front of my house, holding flowers, begging for an apology from the mute girl. I would laugh at how un-cliche this is, if I could. As I zoned out Leo shoved by me, into my house.
"Nice house!" He called from the kitchen. I stomped to where he was standing and pointed to the front door with an aggravated face.
"Sorry, Co. I'm not leaving until you forgive me." I pulled my board from his finger-tips. Why should I?
"Well," He said, gazing at me. "Because your a wonderful person and I'm stupid." I waited. "And err, Your the most awesome person to walk this planet?" He said it as a question. I waited. He sighed. "Listen I'm really really sorry Cora. And I never apologize, you know that." Explain why you changed then. He sighed again.
"Look. Don't take this the wrong way but, I know their jerks. Their my friends too, though. Only being misguided by miss-cheer cheer. Not all the cheerleaders are like that. Trust me. Their my friends for a reason. I need your help though." He sucked in a deep breath. With what? I scribbled. A smile lit up his handsome face.
"We're gonna overthrow her." A doubled over in laughter silently, noticing how Leo stared as I did. Tears peaked in the corners of my eyes as I raised my hands up in an 'I'm done' gesture. He gave me a look.
"Well, I'll do it myself then." I tilted my head, eyes asking 'How?' He answered my silent question, running a hand through his hair. "Hmm, Haven't thought that far."
I grabbed my board again, Thought so. I showed him, smirking. He glowered at me back. He tossed the flowers on the counter.
"Am I forgiven?" He asked, turning back to me in the large kitchen. I felt unsure, and it must have showed on my face. Without hesitation, Leo dropped down to one knee in front of me. My eye widened like saucers and he chuckled a little, taking my hand.
"Cora, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Can't I make mistakes? Aren't I supposed to? If I was perfect then you would probably hate me. Pleeeaassee Forgive me?" And to finish off, he looked up at me through his lashes, hazel eyes smoldering, lips in the perfect pout.
I could feel my resolve wavering, being eaten away by the tingles assaulting my stomach and the blush heating my cheeks at the simplest of touches. I stared into his eyes steadily and nodded. He jumped up, exclaiming "Yes." He proceeded to dance around my kitchen in an adorable fashion. I rolled my eyes and left him there, plopping down on the couch and flicking on the television.
"Hey, Cora." Leo said, sitting down on the couch beside me.
"Can I ask you something?" I nodded, slowly. He looked uncomfortable.
"How did you lose, you know?" He asked gesturing to me. As a reflex my hand flew up to cup my throat. He watched it. I stood and went to the kitchen, gathering up my board and sat back down on the couch. Only if you tell me something about you first. He let out a slightly aggravated noise and looked at me. I looked at him evenly.
"Fine." Leo turned to me on the couch and pulled his legs up, sitting criss-cross. I copied his movement, our knees touching. A never-ending stream of tingles flowed between us. I felt the atmosphere thicken and darken and I was abruptly frightened. I was alone with a guy who could easily over-power me. And I had no voice. How lovely. Nice job, Cora. I switched off the T.v.
When Leo looked back up at me, I had controlled my expression. His eyes were dark. Fear was gnawing at the inside of my stomach.
"..." I waited, trying to keep my breathing normal. What if he was a murderer? Or a Psycho?
"You know I accepted you so easy?" I nodded, cautious. He took a deep breath.
"Well, once I was an outsider too. A complete and total outsider because," I waited as he took another breath.
"I'm adopted." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, in relief. Then felt guilty as his words hit me. Oh, that's really sad. He looked away from my face and down at his hands.
"I never knew my dad, but my foster mom told me he was a real jerk. She also said my real mom was.. not right. She wasn't fit to raise a child so she dropped me off at an adoption place. I was shipped around for a few years, learning that being adopted wasn't cool. It was weird. Well, kids shun weird things," He glanced up at me, then back down. "When I turned fourteen, the family I have now took me in. I was scared at first because I kept switching homes. I was a bit of a bad-boy. But, when I realized they wouldn't give up on me, I eased up and became well, me. No one else knows here though. I joined the football team in order to be normal. I guess it worked. But, when I saw you, well I thought of me. Not like that because I wasn't girly at all," He smiled a little, eyes still down.
"And obviously your not boyish. I'm sorry for not standing up for you. But, when I saw all them picking on you it made me think of how it was for me. I know you're thinking 'If you went through it, why wouldn't you help stupid?' I don't know. I was just scared." I watched as a piece of the walls he put crumbled away. I took his hands in mine and stared him deep in the eyes, trying to say 'It's okay.' with my eyes. "Thank you." He said. Patting my cheek.
"Well, enough of my pity-fest. Please Cora, your turn." I leaned back and dropped his hands, he grimaced slightly then covered it. I sighed and sorted through the cluttered mess of my brain. I flashed into my room upstairs, grabbing my laptop, before rushing back down and taking my seat. The board was too small for this.
'Well, Leo.
My Mom, Dad, and I were on our way to the park with the twins. I was 12 and the twins were around 8 I remember how dad was singing along the radio in a high-pitched voice, making us all laugh. Mom and Dad were completely in love, so much it was almost crazy. Anyway, we were laughing and Dad was singing when a large car came out of nowhere and BOOM! Right into the side of our SUV. I was still conscious as the glass exploded in every direction. One large piece came across and slit right along my throat, I passed out instantly. I woke up a few hours later in a hospital with doctors everywhere. They said I shouldn't have lived, it was almost impossible. But.. Dad didn't make it. Sometimes I think I should've gone instead. That's how it happened.'
My hands stalled on the keys, before I pushed it off my lap and into Leo's. I shut my eyes while his flitted across the screen, reading every word from my horrible past. I heard movement, then I was crushed into Leo's chest, surrounded by the scent of him.
"I'm so sorry. But, you shouldn't ever think that. Never." A few tears spilled over and I pulled away from Leo. He lifted his hand and wiped the tears from my face. I gave him a watery smile.
"It's okay to miss him." He said softly. I nodded weakly, taking a deep breath. I reached my hand up and tugged at the collar of my tee-shirt, pointing to the scar. Leo ran one finger across it and I shivered, earning a smirk from him. I stuck my tongue out and scrawled across the board. Can we stop being sad now? Leo gave a short laugh and smiled.
"Sure," I yanked the remote our from under a pillow and switched the t.v. back on. After a watching a couple made-for-t.v. movies, my eyelids grew heavy. Man, I'm really sleepy today. My head flopped over to the side on Leo's shoulder, send shock-waves straight to my brain. After a few minutes the tingles grew comforting, like a mother's song. I didn't have to look to see Leo was smirking his ass off. Jerk. My drowsiness combined with the soft tingles spreading though my body, I was lulled into dreams.
I jerked slightly, still half asleep. I rolled over and clutched at a pillow, surprised when I fell to the ground. From the recliner across the room, a chuckle arose. I lifted my face from the carpet.
"Nice landing." Leo said, smiling. The light from the window slanted across his cheeks, giving his beautiful eyes a shine. I lifted myself from the beige carpet, trying to keep what was left of my dignity. A thought hit me. Why was he in my house? Answering my silent question Leo spoke.
"You fell asleep last night while I was here and it's wrong to leave a lady alone at night." I was about to remind him that I would be alone tonight too, but caught myself. I was falling too quickly into his trap. I grabbed his hand , ignoring the sparks, and yanked him out of the chair, steering him towards the door. I threw it open and shoved him onto the porch. I grabbed the handle and swung it shut, being to jumpy to feel rude.
"Bi-polar much? You practically threw yourself at me last night." His muffled words reached my ears and I scowled.
"I mean, is this any way to treat a guy you slept with?" The way he emphasized slept made a silent growl rumble my lips and blush heat my cheeks. I pulled a slip of paper from the drawer and grabbed a sharpie, scribbling GO AWAY! Hoping to convey all my feelings into those two simple words. I slipped it under my front door and waited as he read it. He scoffed and choked on a chuckle.
"If you want." That easy? I heard his footsteps fade and his car start before it too, faded into the distance. At that moment I realized I didn't want him to go. Even though he was being an idiot, this house seemed too big and unfamiliar to be in by myself. I threw the door open but, it was too late. The porch was empty and in his place was a single red hibiscus. I lifted the flower and inhaled the smell of outside, freedom. So sweet. I looked across our yard, smiling at the sun's rays gleaming across it. Like every blade of grass was alive and on fire. I skipped up the stairs and changed into a pair of shorts and a tee shirt.
I drank a glass of O.j. and stepped into the backyard. It was long and wide, spreading a healthy green glow in every direction. There were bright flowers poking up from the soft grass. Feeling extremely airy I laid on the ground, sighing. The sun warmed my arms and legs, providing a overwhelming sense of safety. Red danced across my closed eyelids and the wind played in my hair. That's all I thought about. This moment. This place in time. I took a picture and saved the feelings. The soft earth beneath my fingers, breeze across my face, sun soaking in deeper than my skin.
I barely noticed when a soft click changed the calm silence. Now it was eerie. Holding it's breath and standing on it's tip-toes, gliding around my mind. I opened my eyes and squinted against the light until a shadow fell across my face. I sucked in a breath when I realized Leo loomed over me. In a different pair of clothes? Wasn't he gone for only like.. a half an hour? How long have I been out here? Leo dropped down next to me and smiled with a hundred watts.
"Miss me?" I rolled my eyes, acting as if I hadn't. He now laid down next to me and looked over, our faces dangerously close. The light was in his eyes giving them a blue-green hue that was breath-taking. I looked away and back at the clouds hovering in the sky.
"I knew it." He said smugly, copying my position. After a few minutes of a welcomed silence, Leo spoke again.
"It's beautiful isn't it?" I was thrown back in time at his words. The first time we met. Sitting on swings in the park. Without me knowing it, a smile took hold of my lips.
"Whatcha smiling at, weirdo?" Leo teased. I glared at him playfully, which was returned with an innocent smile. Hours went by, we sat outside, pointing at clouds and Leo talking. He got tired of me not answering so he walked inside and came back out with my board seconds later. The romantic deep inside me 'Awwhh'd and I smiled in thanks. We talked, I wrote, about many things. Sometime during our discussion his hand had reached over for mine and there was a soft humming in my mind.
The sun was beginning to set now, casting an orange tint everywhere.
"Shall we go in?" He asked, pulling me up with him. I nodded and led him inside, still holding his hand. When I noticed, I dropped it, blushing. My stomach led me toward the kitchen, growling. I got out all the necessary tools and cooked us a lovely grilled cheese dinner.
"A fine choice, ma'lady." Leo complimented, watching as I cooked. I gave a silent laugh and finished up, setting the plates on the table. I scarfed mine down, too hungry to feel like a pig. He watched me in amusement, finishing seconds after me.
"T.V.?" I snatched my board. Lead the way. He read it, a sly smile on his lips. I plopped down on the couch next to him watching as he flipped through the channels.
"Boring , Boring , Boring." He commented as he flickered through the channels. I jabbed him in the ribs with my finger, annoyed. Surprised though, when he let out a involuntary chuckle. I raised my eyebrow.
"Cora Elizabeth Markings, don't you dare." He said in his deep, attractive voice. I shrugged and looked at the T.v. The exact second he relaxed, I attacked. I pushed his back into the couch and jabbed his sides, smirking. His rich laugh echoed off the walls and his eyes watered.
"Cora, Cora! Stop. Pleeeaassee!" He begged, I let up. As soon as I did, he recoiled. My back hit the couch and he loomed over me again.
"Sweet revenge." Leo chortled and ran his fingers over my ribs. I held in my silent laughter and refused to react. When I did though, the world seemed to stop. Leo didn't move and I was near tears.
Because when I finally couldn't hold in the silent laughter that would make everything awkward, it burst out and wasn't silent. I stopped breathing and Leo's eyes were wide and in complete and total awe at the sound.
I giggled.
The sound was a soft but it hit me harder than a baseball bat to the head. So clear in the quiet house. My mind spun in confusion and awe. I just witnessed a miracle, I realized. I was still hung up on the sound of it. It was sweet and melodic, enticing. Her laugh.
I looked at Cora who was laying under me, tears in her beautiful eyes. Her black hair was splayed out and her fair skin, flushed. I didn't say anything. I was holding onto this silence, using it to replay the sound I just heard. Cora looked up at me and gave me the widest and happiest smile I'd ever seen.
I returned it and leaned back against the couch, she sat up. Her eyes wandered around, not staying on any object too long. Her lithe body was taut. After running a hand through her hair she looked at me again. I handed her the board that was sitting on the coffee table.
Did you hear that?
I nodded, warily.
I didn't dream it?
I shook my head. She looked confused for a second before pouncing on me. Her warm body was next to mine and I felt warmth spread in my stomach. Wow, way to be a girl, Kinderson. I ignored the voice and hugged her back.
Cora pulled away and I felt colder. Do you know what this means? She scrawled.
"It means.. there's hope?" She nodded, a single tear making a crystal track down her cheek. I could see the slight disbelief in her eyes and knew it was for a reason. It was almost a miracle. Nearly.
"Wanna practice?" I asked.
She looked thoughtful, but nodded looking frightened.
"Kay, try saying anything." I urged.
She thought for a moment before seeming to decide. She opened her mouth slightly and clutched her throat. I had already noticed the scar there. Ahh, Cora. So different. So special but, never seeing it. There was a slight scratch noise then nothing. She concentrated more, silvery-blue eyes hardening. It looked like she was pushing on her chest because it dipped in and ... nothing. Not a sound. I could see tears forming. Her former hope crushed. I took her hand and gave her a confident smile.
She nodded at me. Her teeth gritted together and pushed. I don't know what she was pushing on. Almost like she was forcing the voice out. Willing it to be real. She dropped the hand that clutched her throat, a small bubble of noise formed, before disappearing. I could tell it was wearing her out, mentally and physically. I squeezed her hand.
"Cora, it won't work the first time. You have to keep trying."
Why bother?
Was her written response. I looked into her eyes and saw the hope was gone. She had dropped my hand too.
"Well, you can't give up that easy! If it's easy to get, it's not worth having right?" She looked at me annoyed, before it melted and away and she nodded.
"Why don't you get a vocal trainer?"
NO! My family CAN'T Know! They'd get their hopes up.
"Don't you think they should know?"
So they can be disappointed? I think not Kinderson.
"So stubborn." I replied. She did have a point though, of course. Maybe it was just a fluke. An accident. I shook the thoughts from my head and leaned into their plush couch, thinking.
Cora eyed me slyly before leaning back, as well. We sat in silence for a while. I glanced at her and saw her face that it was contorted in a mixture of sadness and disbelief. I sighed and ran a hand threw my choppy hair. I took her hand again and she turned her head, startled.
"Don't think like that." I said, sternly. If I thought she looked startled before, I was seriously mistaken. After a minute of staring I switched my gaze back to the t.v. She in turn, surprised me. Instead of letting go, her grip on my hand tightened. I cursed at myself. What is this girl doing to me? Leo Kinderson never stays with anyone. He leaves before he's left.
-She could be the exception. A small voice pleaded.
-Cora could fix you. It continued.
I put up a wall against it, frowning. How could she fix me when she was so messed up herself? I saw a flash of her face when the girls insulted her. I flinched again, like I had when I was there. She never showed any sign of weakness, but she never fought back. Part of me wondered why, the other part admired it. Not lowering to those hoes' level.
Cora's head slumped over like it had the night before and I adjusted my arm, putting it around her. Her eyes were shut and her breathing was slow and deep. I watched her meekly. Her eyelashes cast shadows across her high, pale cheekbones. Her eyelids shut, concealing the silvery blue orbs that first captivated me. The full lips that were in a slight pout at her dream. She snuggled closer to my side and I felt the warmth of her body paired with a spark of some sort.
I ducked my head down and pressed my cheek to her head, breathing her in. She smelled like apples and strawberries and a underlying smell I couldn't identify, but was amazing. I pushed away my thoughts completely and let myself have this moment. This little piece of full happiness. The outside world and bad thoughts could wait. Maybe they could wait forever. All of it was losing meaning and I felt my eye-lids droop. I wrapped my arms closer around her and breathed in a last time before being consumed whole.
My ears perked at the sound of sizzling. FIRE! My instincts kicked in and I jumped from the couch, prepared to grab Cora and run. I looked around, but there was no bright orange flames or unbelievable heat. Confused, I followed the sizzling sound. Cora stood in front of the stove, her dark hair falling softly down to her mid-back.
I saw white earbuds peeking out from behind the black curtain of hair. She swished her hips back and forth in a graceful manner. I got closer to see her intensely focused on the bacon crisping in front of her. Her mouth parted slightly as she mouthed a few words. I snuck up behind her and grabbed her hips, trying to scare her.
Suffice to say it worked. She swiveled around faster than I thought and whacked me across the face with a spatula. The whole scene happened in less than a minute but, it seemed longer than that. Her face changed from intense hate and fear to regret and held back laughter. I stood a few feet away, holding my jaw.
"Nice arm." I complimented. She blushed and I dropped my hand. Her eyes flickered up to my face and one emotion threw over all the others. Hilarity. She doubled over in silent laughter. Cora collected herself and looked back up at me, doubling over again, tears leaking from her eyes. What? I searched for the nearest bathroom and stared at my reflection. Other than having a serious case of bed-head I ....Oh.
Where she had hit me wasn't just red, but it had perfect lines of where the spatula swiped my face. I let out a chuckle at the neatly etched Spatula-shaped mark on my jaw. The smell of bacon drove me away from the mirror into the kitchen. Cora was setting the plates on the table and she looked up to me, a giggle bursting through her lips. I lost all my thoughts at the sound. So amazing, so sweet. She looked taken aback herself. Hope flitted across her face before settling there. I sat next to her at the round glass table, digging in.
"Cora this is awesome." I said in between stuffing bites into my mouth. She nodded, eating as fast as I. I wonder how that works? She wasn't a stick, sad had kicking curves, but she wasn't fat. Though she seems to eat as much as I do. And I had to play football to stay in shape. I watched at the slim girl downed her food quicker than humanly possible.
"Who'da thunk it? You can eat all that and keep a killer body? Nice." I watched in satisfaction as her cheeks heated. Her soft skin glowing, she stood and gathered our plates, dumping them in the sink.
"Well, we have a whole Sunday. What do you wanna do?" An evil glint worked it's way into her eyes.
"Cora..." I warned. Her faced turned innocent in a flash, giving me a heart-melting smile. She batted her eyelashes and wrote three small words on the board she took off the counter.
It's a surprise.
Great.
I could tell by his expression, he was wary. I nearly laughed. This tall, built jock was frightened of me? The small mute girl? Well, better than nothing. I grabbed my keys off the counter and motioned for him to follow me, we entered the garage. I texted Kaylah and Luke telling them to ask if they could stay at their friend's houses another night.
Leo looked over my shoulder as he got into the passenger seat. I moved my body so he couldn't see what I was writing. He pouted and I gave another smile. I started up the car and pulled out of our driveway.
While I drove, Leo was silent. I was thankful for that, I needed some thinking time. Oh no, I was shaken by my thoughts now. They turned my feelings 360.
How did this happen? Just the image of us together seems hilarious. Now we're good friends, impossibly close. Even if I can't talk, even if I can't convey my feelings he still stays by me. Why? That thought lived in the back of my mind. Why did he stay by me? I'm going to always have this constant fear of him getting frustrated with me and leaving.
Just then, I realized so much I've told him. How much I has suddenly come to rely on him. If he left me now, there was no doubt I would cry and not know what to do. Since when was I so open? Fear rose up. A memory flashed in front of me. Of Leo. Switching sides when I was picked on.
Why did I forgive him? -Because he's like you. A small voice nagged. I ignored it. It's the basic code, Leave before you're left.
I pulled over onto the shoulder and put on my hazards. Leo looked so confused that I just wanted to keep driving and leave it alone. I texted him asking him his address. After a moment of hesitation he told me it.
I averted my eyes the whole drive to his house. This is for the best - I told myself. Leave your only friend until he leaves you. Leo knew something was up, obviously. I pulled into his driveway and gave him a final text.
Get out please. I'm sorry.
He read it over and gave me a sad look that turned angry. I didn't look at him. I stared at the steering wheel waiting for him to get out. There wasn't any movement.
"No."
I looked up and scrunched my nose. I texted him again.
Don't be stubborn.
"Well, tell me why you're being like this." He demanded.
I'm just taking care of this. Cleaning it up. You'll get bored of me soon enough anyway.
Leo read the text and gave me the most appalled look I have ever seen. He started to talk but, I put up a hand to stop him.
Clean, easy, cut is how it's supposed to be.
After reading, Leo 'hmphed' and got out of the car, slamming it. I dropped my head onto the steering wheel and cursed myself. It was my fault. I should have faced the truth in the beginning. I was all giddy and bubbly at having someone who I could 'talk' to. Someone who understood.
He didn't understand at all though... did he? Because he can lie about his past. He can fake being normal. I can't! I can't pretend to be able to talk. I can't pretend that it's all in the past. It doesn't work that way.
I slammed my hand against the steering wheel. Why is everything so confusing? I want to be around him. Yet, Ishouldn't. To be together and share laughs (Kind of).... maybe even more than that. And on some level he is like me. He might pretend to be okay but, he's still scared of never being accepted.
I punched the wheel again, repeatedly. A few tears slipped down my face. I looked up at Leo's house and met his gaze through the front window. I threw the car into reverse and pulled out of his driveway. I just need some time.
I just need some time...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Leo's P.O.V.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I gazed at Cora as she kept her head down. After a second I 'hmphed' and got of her car, slamming the door. I walked up my drive at a swift pace, eager to get away. Yet at the same time, I wanted to turn around. I stepped into the house and looked out the front window at her car.
I could easily see her sitting the driver's seat from here. I watched as she slammed her hand down on the steering wheel, with her head still down. A part of me still want to be miffed but, watching her so... torn up was making that hard to do.
She slammed the steering wheel a few more time before finally looking up. The light from the sun glistened off something on her face. She met my eyes and I realized they were tears. I sighed once and shook my head as she took off down the street.
Silly girl. I commented in my head.
You outta know I'll never get frustrated with you.
The drive home was emotional. I mean, I'm not a big softie who cries at everything. In fact, I haven't cried in months. So I was more than surprised when my vision blurred slightly as I turned onto my street.
I jumped out of the car and ran straight into the house. I made it to my bedroom within seconds and dropped. I curled up under my covers and felt a cliche moment coming on. I cried a little. Not full out sobs or wails of despair but, a few tears and sad thoughts.
Not like I was going to die. I don't even remember crying when I lost my voice. At that time, I was only crying for the loss of my father.
At that thought, there was a pang of sadness in my chest. After a good two hours of being miserable I stood up and sucked in a deep breath. I mean, I'd barely known Leo for a few weeks now.
Only now, I actually realized time meant nothing. I could have known him for years and it would still be like this. This friendship was real. I know I shouldn't put people through hoops to make sure they're real.
But, it's not like I'm not hurting too. Hey, maybe he's not even hurting. Maybe he just figured he can always make another freak-friend. A quote popped into my head.
'If you really love someone, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.'
So true. Well, I guess the only thing I can do now is wait. I left my room and descended the stairs. But, do I really want to wait? I thought. I was fidgeting in the middle of kitchen. I want to do something!
Maybe I can work on myself, during this time while we're apart. But, what can I do to work on myself? I pursed my lips and thought for a moment. After a short deliberation, I smacked myself in the head. Stupid! Work on speaking!
It's startling how much hope one person can give you. Leo gave me back my fighting spirit, in an indirect way. Yet, he was still a part of the cause.
Oi! Too much thinking! My head started to ache slightly at how I was confusing myself.
I took a deep breath and jumped up and down, shaking myself out. How the hell was I supposed to do this? The last few times I vocalized, it was by accident. It's taken me nearly 6 years to be able to laugh quietly. My hope was fading.
NO! I shouted at myself. I need to try. Now, Is there something I should drink or what? I went upstairs, grabbed my laptop, and rushed back down.
First I need to calm down. It's not going to come back right away. I shouldn't be expecting a miracle. I soaked that in for a minute before I powered on my laptop and googled 'What to drink if your voice is lost.'
I know most people would search that only if that had lost their voice due to sickness or screaming, but it should work for me too, right? I clicked on the first link. :
"Honey lemon tea is good for a lost voice. The heat and steam from the drink helps relax the vocal cords, which are probably stressed.
Other than that, hot or steamy foods in general should be able to help."
Okay, tea. I turned off my laptop and rummaged through the cabinets looking for the packages of tea I knew mom always kept around.
Bingo! I grabbed the tiny green box and pulled a smaller pouch out. I turned on the kettle and waited for the familiar scream to fill the kitchen. I went through all the appropriate steps to make my tea the way I like.
It was finished about five minutes. My heart was beating fast and scolded myself again. This time I nearly beat all my hope down until there was only a little left. But, that little patch of hope would get me through this.
I stood and put my cup in the sink. Now where should I try? Probably somewhere I felt happy. The park! The park I found on my first day here. Without another thought, I grabbed my keys and headed out.
This time the drive to the park seemed longer than before. Maybe because I was eager and every one of my nerves was a live wire. I couldn't sit still. I practically threw myself out of the car when I reached the park. It was a cute and beautiful as always.
The sun was barely peeking out from behind the clouds and a slight breeze wafted across the grass. I bent over and pulled at some of the waxy blades.
There was another gust of wind and it sent my hair swirling around my face. The sun and wind contradicted each other perfectly. I went and sat on my swing, smiling for the first time since.... what happened earlier today.
Okay, do or die Cora. Time to try. I took in a deep breath. I should try a sound I already knew was possible. My laugh. But, how? I wasn't in a very happy mood right now.
I thought back to the times when I laughed. All with Leo. How coincidental - sarcasm. A scene came into focus.
When I was making breakfast and Leo scared me. I smacked him in the face with the spatula. Just picturing his expression made me giggle. It had sound, however faint.
I felt my spirit lift to the highest it's been in a while. I opened my eyes again and cast my eyes around the playground. There was a bubble of excitement in the pit of my stomach and it was growing.
Now let's try sounds. Hmm. How about Ahhh? It seems simple. Only I should try in a sing-song way. Let's do this. I focused on the excitement in my stomach and felt it fill up my body. I pictured myself sitting in a swing, mouth open and a raspy sound coming out.
I swallowed another breath and readied myself. I opened my mouth and pushed. I pushed myself. There was a low rumble of sound before I could identify it.
"Arggahhah." To anyone else it would've just sounded like a crackling stereo, but I could hear a faint tone of 'Ahhh.'
The sound cut short. Wait! Even though I was already proud of myself I wanted to go for gold. I at least wanted to have something to show for my now hours of practice, not just a rasped dying noise.
I pushed on my chest again. Come on! I coughed a little. Well, that was something, I noted with a smile. Maybe if I push a little more - Owww!
There was a slight burning in my throat. No. Please God, No! I've finally gotten up the courage to try and now you're making it hurt? I clutched my throat with both hands and tried again, more carefully than before. It didn't matter.
The burning increased rapidly and was more painful and before. Almost like swallowing glass that was on fire. Maybe if I try a little hard- "Ack!"
I exploded into a round of coughs so violent I fell of the swing and landed in the sand on my knees. The coughs died down. I wasn't happy that I could cough out loud now. The sound was frightening. Scratchy. And it caused an unfamiliar feeling to move in my throat. The burst of noise and air was unusual.
I had a bigger problem now. The burning and pain. Though it was fading now, the memory was fresh.
Did I wait too long to try? I stared down at my hands, still siting in the sand. My teardrops hit the sand, changing it's color from gold to brown.
Why? I wasn't allowed to have one good thing?
I couldn't have one thing?
Why wasn't I allowed anything?
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